Poem: Alone. Written approximately 1 1/2 months ago.

My heart taps out a staccato on my ribs
My mind beats out the copper of thought
Into a cymbal, and ring of mist...
My eyes focus on feeling
My thoguhts turn purposefully to the mundane.

Lines converge, and separate.
Grooves of some weird fraction of old phonographs
my fingerstips hold the dirt and the story of the world
Misery and dirt, like insects pinned under glass.

I hope you faded fast.
I hope death was a crash.
I hope you didn't call my name,
because you didn't have time.
My most horrible dream was to be there while I watched you die
And I would give my life to have been there with you.
My very soul; proudly would I part with. To sit there and stroke your hair as you began a journey we can not face
And you try to call out my name;
But as a man screaming in a dream,
Only a breath with sound, Only the faintest whisper would pass your lips.
And I would know...I would know...
And I would will the world to stop.
And we would all spin into space.
And the tragedy of everyone would be water on my lips
And cold breath in my lungs.
And a haughty laugh.
And you would answer, and say,
Don't hurt these others
Because your love would not let me.
You love for life.
And I would let go...
My grip would fail, and my resolve would grow weak.
I would faint in your presence, in your kind,
Kinder
And you would dissipate...
A vapor absorbed.
Gently in death as in life.
And that well would spring forth.
That well of grief, unknowable grief; it would grab me and take me to places so many have gone, but always alone.
Alone....

                                                                                                       Jon 2012